alright back to blogging.

internet connection coruppted, so could not use.

so now in school blog. hahas.

saturday went out with hubby.

&& when i see my phone only,

wahh, FUCKING BITCH this word.

everywhere in message.

sibei dulans.

but calm down and called him.

&& to my surprise.

he talked properly.

he said meet me at bedok.

lol, then i tell him i go prepare&& he must reach there before me.

guess what he say?

okay, but dont make me wait so long.

lol, i super happy.

i dont know why, just because of this message.

i faster reply, then go down bedok.

lol, hahas.

&& guess what. we never quarrel for the whole day.

coolness right?

i know. hahas.

sunday went rebond hair.

cool, did my hair everything is done.

sleep for awhile.

&& he tua me.

say want go watch movie. talk cocks.

but, i never blame him.

cause something happen. but i find him selfish at times.

haized.&& lastly

iloveyou BABYBOY.

Love ends @8:13 AM

to reply your tag,

i will wait, thats all.

i really will, i know, you dont believe.

you said, if you were to forget me.

will i like other guys.

my answer is yes.

because you have forgetten me.

but, i wont find another guy who love me so much

&& care me so much.

there wont be a second you.

which means, you'll never be replaced.

but, what do you know?

you will always say i very violent.

when we quarrel, you will say i dont know la,

SHE CRAZY.

well, thats hurting but, you dont know.

haized. i really dont know.

how about when i really do care about you and when i really love you?

did you even notice it?

have you even tell me things like

thank honey for what ever you have done?

haiz, i really dont know.

deep down i dont wish to break.

but is just you, who make me feel left out in this relationship.

the feeling that you gave me now.

make me feel very lonely.

not like last time, so pastionate.

why is this so?

ILOVEYOU, i really do mean it.

but what about you?

bottom line,

Love ends @9:18 AM

hmm, i am lost for words.

perhaps, if you really go inside.

you will only then realise.

that, who treats you really good.

&& regret what ever you have done.

i really hope everything start afresh.

like how we knew each other,

how we start giving kiss to each other.

how we hug each other.

how we make faces to make each other happy.

how we play like a

CRAZY COUPLE.

&& things like that.

well, i dont know why things seems so hard for me.

yesterday, he fetch me back hostel.

on the way, i asked him.

bi, what if i go in girls home?

he asked me to shhhh..

then i kept asking him.

after awhile, he reply.

well, i hope is true.

but deep down i know that,

this word, i can only hear but not believe.

&7 he ask me back.

what if he go in?

(if he go in this time will be for15 months.)

then i played the song i'll remember you.

he asked, why you play the song?

i said because i felt like playing this song.

i dont want to reply his question because.

i know that i will wait.

because i really do love him.

but i dont want him to take it as i am talking cocks.

so i didnt reply and didnt tell him i will wait.

but no matter how long.

i promise that, i will wait.

i promise, though you dont treat me well like last time.

but still i love you alot.

i know perhaps you dont love me anymore.

but, you cant stop me from loving you.

even if you go in. i promise,

if you write letter to me.

i will reply you.

i promise.

but if you wish to forget me.

fine, i will just wait.

thats all. && dont need to fetch me anymore.

because i know, you will never fetch me.

&& dont promise me anything.

Love ends @8:53 AM

well, i think you didnt hear me correctly.

i said, i let you play when i am not with you.

monday,tuesday,wednesday, thursday&friday

can play, saturday cannot.

sunday when i go back hostel.

can play right.

just one day only.

just to accompany me.

also cannot.

fine, this relationship i doubt will not last long.

all thanks to those game creator.

i really hate it. i really do.

haized. i really feel confused.

at what to do.

patch this word?

i decided not to take it lightly.

patch this word.

to me now, is future.

i have to think of future.

will he neglect me?

everything?

will he love me?

will he really treasure me this time?

will we really wont quarrel so much?

will we?

will we last?

if i were to change for you will i regret?

i really very confuse.

after you finish and clearing your mind you tell me.

i dont mind patching.

its just that, i really have to think of the future.

thats all. haized.

i feel confused.

you think thru bah.

Love ends @9:36 AM

okay, its like my feeling is so mixed up now.

i am so sad, why?

cause i broke up with him. yes, i broke up with

ahsong.

because games is important to him.

i asked him, if he were to choose.

game or me.

he choosed game. i am not surprise.

because i know he really likes games.

&& of course i know, i cant compare to his games.

i am just like a nobody lorh.

right?

well, perhaps.

letting go is really better.

because i know he cant possibly wont play games.

now i know where the problem occur,

why we quarrel. because of games.

he neglect me because of games.

everything he did, is just for games.

thats why.

i got nothing to say,

i got to pack up my mood and perhaps

start afresh?

who knows?

i am going to be stong.

i will tell myself not to cry.

Love ends @2:53 PM

i really am confused

confused of what to do nowadays.

i really dont know,

it just seems like, i am very stress. yup, very stress.

i dont know why. i dont know what i am stress for.

perhaps relationship?

perhaps, my family?

perhaps, school?

perhaps, hostel?

or perhaps, myself?

i have been wondering, what happen to me nowadays?

why cant i be happy when i feel like i want to?

everything just seems like,

somebody is take control of my body.

i have no one to vent out this anger.

seriously, i am really stress.

i cant shared it with my boyfriend.

because, i will get stucked at what i will be saying.

&& i am afraid that i will vent out my anger on him.

&& that will lead us to a quarrel.

i really dont know what to do.

even if i were to share with him,

he wont have the patient to listen to what i will say to him.

&& he will either say,

dont think too much.

or

aiya, wont de lah.

i really dont know, i feel very confuse.

like, 1 week i can only meet you 1 day which is on saturday.

yet, you still dont understand.

you yourself also say what.

if you really really fcuking miss me.

then you will come fetch me to school,

if not you wont.

what kind of thing is that?

what kind of word is that?

i know lah, to you it might be sat to say this kind of word infront of

YOUR FRIENDS.

but to me, you dont know what kind of feelings it will be.

because, you are not girl.

you dont know how i feel,

thats why when i am sad. you cant feel it.

dont you think that you are very selfish?

you kept saying i am selfish.

YES! i am selfish.

but at least i know what i want!

you say you fetch me whn you really miss me.

okay. then can you think for me?

how about when i really really miss you?

how about when i want you to fetch me?

what kind of same excuse you give me?

you think what? i really that lame to ask you come fetch me?

i can seriously tell you.

we are drifting apart, its true.

cause you no longer feel how much my heart hurts when you said those words.

&& frankly speaking, i feel that my friend knows me better

than you!

and ask yourself, why i suddenly will write diary?

because i feel that, no one really can listen to what i want to say.

&& what my heart want to say.

only my diary can quietly let me finish writing it all out,

without making any comment.

&& the only thing that i can say it out to.

&& no one knows only the 2 of us.

but do you notice it?

you dont.

perhaps, i am just a toy to you.

perhaps bah,

times goes people change.

Love ends @10:08 PM

oh well, reported the whole incident to ms tan already.

ms tan asked me to print out the web page.

or her blog.

luckily i print it out already.

beacuse, she blocked her blog already.

lol, dont know what she scared of.

&& some people came my blog and spam.

lol, dont know who is that.

lol, she also dont dare to put her fcuking name.

lol, its very lame lor,

dont like me say to my face lah,

come my blog and spam, like i know who are you like that. irritating lor.

hahas , anw, thanks bi.

for helping me to scold.

but really,

there is no need to tag back and give your number all this.

not worth it.

okay?

we just live our own life, dont care those lame people.

okay? okay end of post.

byebye people.

loves you a tons.

and happy spamming.

Love ends @8:51 AM

hohoho!

people check out this website alright?

woah, i still didnt know she ka my jiao wei,

until i check out her post.

cause in school people who are close with me should know about me&& her thing.

she said i STOLE her phone.

yes, yes! STEAL her phone.

&& want to know who is the SHE i am refering?

she is none other than,

check out her blog alright?

oh ya, is at the april 2008 that kinda post.

april 3 and 4.

in case she delete her post.

i have already printed it out.

guess what she said?

she said that nowadays i dont dare to talk to her?

maybe i am too shameless to face her.

&& she said that i am feeling gulity.

oh no, i do feel gulity.

but not for me.

but for her.

because she dont know, i can sue her,

oh no. how god damn stupid can this person be?

oh well, its just a small kids perhaps.

&& she said, fcuk your whole family upside down.

she said about my family.

its like wtf cans?

i going to report to the police.

&& she says i am a ahlian.

oh maybe, i gave you all an impression that i am an ahlian.

&& she say that,

i think that the whole school is afraid of me cause i am fierce.

LOL! i think this is the best joke i ever heard.

know why?

cause i do what i like,

because thats me, what for to show a different personalilty?

in front of people?

thats an act what, && to add on what you have said.

i can tell you that, is they scared of me.

not i go around asking them to scared of me.

well, if you are to say i am timid.

hello, take a mirror&& look at yourself.

if you think it was me who took your phone.

for god sake, why dont you check me on that day?

why dont you talk to me face to face?

why did you have to write or rant it all out in your pathetic blog?

like oh dear diary, this fcuker stole my phone.

she get her retribution. blah blah.

kinda lame right?

ask my friend, to tell me this.

message my boyfriend&& act like its me.

oh my god. && you want to act like you are a little angel in

secondary 3C? well, what i can say is.

i dont like my class, 3c&& including you

this class is full of crap. it's true.

if you think that i am just going to rant it all out in my blog

just like you. i can tell you.

you are definetely wrong,

because, the next coming monday, i am going to

look for you, a face to face talk.

i am a ahlian? oh well, up to you.

i am sucha DEVIL.

&& she also said something about slapping my face.

let's see. will she fcuking slap my face.

wait for my next post people.

Love ends @12:12 AM